Good God

What the hell is going on? First, Thalia and T got positive betas, only to learn shortly thereafter that neither pregnancy was viable.

And then last night in the midst of a holiday party we were throwing, we got a call that no parent ever wants to make. My friend B's husband was calling because she couldn't. Their fifteen-month-old son was dead. Totally unexpected.

B took him to the doctor last Monday for what all thought was an ear infection. By Thursday when he wasn't any better she was getting ready to take him back to the doctor when he stopped breathing. The paramedics were eventually able to get his heart started again, but by then he had suffered a grave and irreparable brain injury.

Her baby died on Friday.

Good God.

B has given birth to four children, and only two are alive. I can not even begin to imagine her pain.

I just know it's so much worse than any pain I have ever felt over not having a child.

(I know the basics of supporting someone who's grieving but if anyone unfortunately has specific suggestions of how to cope with the loss of a child, I would appreciate the insight.)

Lying Low

So things here aren't as bad as they were last year, but I am still in a pre-holiday funk.

And my body has decided to let me know just how old I am. I woke up with a stiff neck a week ago and finally had to resort to a doctor's visit today because I still couldn't turn my head.

And my father finally told me that he is seeing someone after he took her on an extremely extravant four-day trip to NYC that my mother would have died--or I guess I should say lived--to go on.

And I'm sure if the husband and I get any present from him, it will be maple syrup.

And we haven't even finished the syrup he gave us two years ago.

And there's stuff I/we need to sort out about our future (you know the basics--kids, no kids), and as much as I would like your advice/assvice, I don't feel comfortable discussing the issues here. Lately I've had a few regular visitors from my hometown who are making an effort to hide their tracks into and out of my blog and that makes me nervous.

Maybe these visitors are nice, but maybe they aren't. I worry that these visitors are rubberneckers at an accident and not the helpful sort I've found most of you to be. And I just don't feel like exposing any more of myself or my husband right now.

I am looking forward to our Christmas trip and pretty much have all the plans set. Thanks for the suggestions about the pup.

I do hope that all of us are able to find a moment of peace in this season.