My Husband Is Having a Hard Week
There are many reasons why I am glad that I work from home, but none is more important than avoiding pregnancy announcements, pregnant co-workers, or any other baby-related events.
Of course, I'm not completely immune: yesterday I received a list of reasons why I should attend some training in September: Reason #2. You will get to see W. try to bend down to pick up a bug while 8 months pregnant, which I think will be worth it all right there. Bring your cameras!
That's my reason #1 for NOT attending.
My husband, on the other hand, works in an office. You'd think that he wouldn't have too many problems, because he works in an almost exclusively male office. (Think computer engineers.)
But yesterday a co-worker sent him an email offering up a potential new hire. My husband clicked on the attachment. He was expecting a resume but got an ultrasound. Who does that? Really? Is that normal these days? If so, it's just another reason why I wonder how we would fit in if I do finally get pregnant.
We had already been trying for two years when we attended this co-worker's wedding.
And then somehow this co-worker ended up in my husband's office with another co-worker, who announced that his wife is pregnant with number two. When we attended their wedding, we'd already been married for six months.
Combined with last week's announcement, my husband is having a rough time.
I think sometimes it's easy to forget how much this bullshit affects our husbands. Now is not one of them.
Of course, I'm not completely immune: yesterday I received a list of reasons why I should attend some training in September: Reason #2. You will get to see W. try to bend down to pick up a bug while 8 months pregnant, which I think will be worth it all right there. Bring your cameras!
That's my reason #1 for NOT attending.
My husband, on the other hand, works in an office. You'd think that he wouldn't have too many problems, because he works in an almost exclusively male office. (Think computer engineers.)
But yesterday a co-worker sent him an email offering up a potential new hire. My husband clicked on the attachment. He was expecting a resume but got an ultrasound. Who does that? Really? Is that normal these days? If so, it's just another reason why I wonder how we would fit in if I do finally get pregnant.
We had already been trying for two years when we attended this co-worker's wedding.
And then somehow this co-worker ended up in my husband's office with another co-worker, who announced that his wife is pregnant with number two. When we attended their wedding, we'd already been married for six months.
Combined with last week's announcement, my husband is having a rough time.
I think sometimes it's easy to forget how much this bullshit affects our husbands. Now is not one of them.
posted by zhl at 7:18 PM
7 Comments:
Hey - got any room in your home office? I have been seriously tested by the 25 pregnancies I've had to endure over the past seven years in an office of 30 people. DAMN! Talk about a fertile office (present company excluded). Each announcement -- half of them came from male colleagues -- came with the usual effusive backslapping "you da man" responses. We really do underestimate the impact on the guys who face their own infertility issues.
It's true. After my ectopic pregnancy, my husband was greeted by so many friends at church asking how I was, and saying they were praying for me, he finally had to say "Actually, I'm heartbroken too." Duh.
Sigh. You can't run, you can't hide.
Though you've done well so far.
Gah. Fertiles suck.
That email seems in pretty poor taste, I'm sorry your husband had to deal with that. Plus that invite would have offended me if I was the pregnant woman, let alone you. I'm glad you don't have to attend.
Sorry for commenting so late but I didn't want to let this slip (and feel ever so guilty for not seeing it sooner).
I'm so sorry your husband has been blindsided by idiots lately. That's just wrong. It really is so very hard on the menfolk, they really are they walking wounded.
I agree that our partners often have a hard time with infertility and don't get as much acknowledgement about it as we do. I know when we miscarried last summer -- we were both completely unprepared- I think both he (and our doctor) cried about it openly in the office. I cried as well but was so shocked that he felt so strongly about it-- it raised my awareness that all I had been through really did affect not only both of us but our marriage.
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