There Should Be a Law
There should be a law that if you give your child a godawful name guaranteed to make him the target of bullies everywhere and to make all other people think of him as a drippy nose nerd, you should have to forfeit him to an infertile couple who would have the sense to give the child a decent name.
Young Ovaries had her baby last month and named him Alan. At the time I thought it was horrible, but now the name my 41-year-old friend who got knocked up the old-fashioned way while not trying, eight years after her IVF twins, has given her brand new boy has made Alan seem like a great name.
What did she name her child, you ask.
Eugene.
Yep, that's right, Eugene.
What the hell do you call a baby Eugene? Eugie? Genie? Nerdboy?
So as soon as my law is enacted, those boys will be mine.
**No offense to Alan's or Eugene's out there; it's not their fault.
***And yes, I've got PMS and am jealous that they even get to give their kids horrible names.
Young Ovaries had her baby last month and named him Alan. At the time I thought it was horrible, but now the name my 41-year-old friend who got knocked up the old-fashioned way while not trying, eight years after her IVF twins, has given her brand new boy has made Alan seem like a great name.
What did she name her child, you ask.
Eugene.
Yep, that's right, Eugene.
What the hell do you call a baby Eugene? Eugie? Genie? Nerdboy?
So as soon as my law is enacted, those boys will be mine.
**No offense to Alan's or Eugene's out there; it's not their fault.
***And yes, I've got PMS and am jealous that they even get to give their kids horrible names.
posted by zhl at 5:41 PM
5 Comments:
Ummm ... maybe, "Nerdiness is in the eye of the beholder"?
Or how about, "I dream of Eugenie"?
Obviously some people like different names, but I can understand your point of view. (Sometimes you have to wonder if their is a favorite uncle or grandfather they are trying to honor.)
To Love, Honor and Dismay
At least it's not a noun or a fruit.
Your post cracked me up because I was just complaining about a baby name this morning that my friend gave her daughter.
I'm not a fan of the name either, but hopefully he'll be called Gene. I do think it is better than Apple or Suri.
I really don't get the weird name thing either. A friend of a friend just called his new son "Champ". Yes, that is the kids real name. Not a nickname. Champ. I think that law is a great idea!
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